My kitten will never be traumatised, oh no
I’ll turn off the TV before the 9 o’clock watershed
My kitten will never be paralysed, oh no
I’ll tie an iron bar from the
top of her head to the tip of her tail
My kitten will never be fat, oh no
I’ll make her read magazines, till she’s an anorexic.
My kitten will never be pregnant
the vet will have her spayed,
slice out her womb with his scalpel blade
Ooh, ooh lovely kitten,
What did I do wrong, what did I do wrong cos
She is waiting by the window, she is scratching at the door, she has jumped over the wall now
She’s packed her bags got in my car and left me on my own
My kitten will never be working class,
If I see her wearing a tracksuit, I’ll feed her to my Staffordshire bull terrier
My kitten will never be a lesbian
If I see her with a lady cat, I’ll nail shut the cat flaps
My kitten will never be crazy
If she has an interesting thought, I’ll wipe it out with electric shock therapy
My kitten will never be crucified
If she tries to save the world with love, I’ll lock her up in a mental hospital